Read This: Didn't I Feed You Yesterday?: A Mother's Guide to Sanity in Stilettos

So I'm not really into parental advice books.  The truth is, I'm really busy and I actually don't care.  But I do enjoy the occasional parenting humor book, and I recently re-read Didn't I Feed You Yesterday?: A Mother's Guide to Sanity in Stilettos and you should read it too.  It's hilarious!  It's written by Laura Bennett who was a Project Runway finalist who had elegant cocktail dresses.  She has six kids (and she was baking the 6th during Project Runway) and lives in a two bedroom apartment in NYC.  

In the first chapter, she is on a plane with her six children.  Which frankly, seems like a miracle to me--I hardly want to get on a plane with my kids and there's only two of them.

I noticed over the cacophony that a woman in an ill-fitting polyester pant suit was tanding in the front of the cabin, making strange hand gestures and was trying to tell me something.  I also noticed that she was holding an oxygen mask  My interest was piqued and her droning words came into focus.

"When traveling with children, please secure your own mask before assisting a child." Clearly, this woman was an oracle. 

The other passengers seemed to have missed her message, but it made such clear sense to me:  provide yourself with oxygen first, or you will be of no use to your children.  If you run your own life, pursuing your own successes and coping with your own failures, you won't find yourself dwelling on missed opportunities or attempting to undo mistakes on the back of your kids.  

As you know, I have two kids, a husband, and a full time job.  It was amazing to me the pressure that people put on me to be a stay at home mom once I had my daughter.  As if once I had produced this other person, my own career goals were no longer important and I needed to become someone else.  My husband knew going into our marriage that I didn't want to be a stay at home mom.  (I did offer him the opportunity to be a stay at home dad, which he politely declined.)

My new BFF Laura was interviewed by Parents.com, where she talked about the help she has with her kids (a housekeeper and an assortment of nannies.)  She was slaughtered on the site's chat boards by stay at home moms who said that by having help, she didn't love her kids.  Laura's take:

Experiencing the pain of childbirth does not make me love my children more; that's why God invented epidurals.  Changing every diaper, cooking every meal, and doing every pickup and drop-off will not make me love them more, either.  Choosing not to do so hardly makes me incompetent.  

When I was pregnant, I found a really wonderful preschool that both of my kids attend, which has some sort of early childhood certification, meaning a large percentage of the teachers have some significant amount of early childhood educational training.  I have zero education in children.  I do have a BA in politics, and could help walk my children through an election strategy or making a bill into a law, which is fairly useless at this time.

The fact that someone once told me that I was "abandoning my children in daycare every day" still stings years later.  But the fact is, I'm really happy!  My kids are really neat people and well behaved.  I'm happy and they are happy.   And guess what?  Studies show that if mom is happy, everyone is happy!  I've got my oxygen and I can make sure everyone else has theirs too!

Laura also dishes on her Project Runway experience in the book, which, since I am not a reality star, and would probably suck at being at one (we'll talk about this later) I couldn't relate to, but is still fascinating. She talks more about her husband and coordinating their kids, and it's a great read. 

Why aren't you watching this?: Sesame Street

Well, if you don't have kids, you probably aren't watching much kids TV.  But I have two.  And my favorite of their shows is by far, Sesame Street.  Yep, the Sesame Street you grew up with is still on.  And true to its mission to make educational TV that parents would want to watch with their kids, it's awesome.

For example, Grover's take on the Old Spice guy:




True Blood (True Mud):


And singers get into the act too! Jason Mraz doing "Outdoors" (instead of "I'm Yours")


And Feist doing 1,2,3,4:


And their website is fantastic. They have a ton of videos and educational games. You can even view old school videos, like this Lionel Richie "U Really Got a Hold On Me":



On the terrible side is Little Einsteins.  Our 4 year old's cousin watches a lot of the Little Einsteins and my mother in law bought a DVD for our 4 year old.  The Little Einsteins kids are the world's most pretentious and annoying children.  For starters, they call themselves the Little Einsteins.  I find the sexism annoying:  the girls' talents are singing and dancing.  The boys play actual instruments and conduct.  Each episode repeats a perfectly fine classical music riff over and over again, completely ruining the music for life.  The DVD is going to find itself lost soon.

I Am Not Cool Enough For: Parenting

I have two kids:  a 3.5 year old girl and a 3 month old boy.  And I am simply not cool enough to parent in 2010.

Fact is, in this high tech, Web 2.0 world, there's been a return to a crunchy granola hippie time and I'm frankly not cool enough to go along.  Examples:

• Nursing in public.  I breastfeed but don't nurse in public.  Not with a blanket, not without a blanket.  I don't find it comfortable.  I'd much rather breastfeed at home on my couch with a bunch of pillows.  And though I'm pumping at work now, once I'm over this whole breastfeeding thing, I'm giving the baby formula.  I'm not even going to pretend I'm going to do this for a year, as recommended.
• VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarian).  I had a C-section with my first baby (not intentionally) and I had a C-section with my second baby.  I didn't try to have a vaginal birth and I certainly didn't try to have the baby at home (as did two people I knew the same month my little one was born.)
• Vaccinations.  I vaccinate my kids, using the schedule provided by my doctor.  I don't create my own schedule or skip vaccinations.
• Baby wearing.  I have this giant Moby Wrap.  I've worn it twice.  And I didn't get it from Amazon, I got it from this natural store which I had never even seen before (I looked up where I could get the wrap), so it was organic cotton, making the cost per use $35 a wearing.  And I've never been to a baby wearing group.  
• Baby food.  I'm not going to make my own  It's Gerber all the way.  And I'm probably going to use the non organic kind too. 

Despite my uncoolness, my kids are happy, healthy, and delightful.