A Love Letter to: Top Chef while filming in Texas

Dear Top Chef team,

First of all, love love love your show.  I love the regular show, the all stars show, and even the dessert show.    When I first heard that Bravo was going to do a Project Runway-type show with food, I thought, "How is that going to work?  We can't taste the food!"  But it does!  And I'm addicted.

So, rumor is that you are currently filming in Texas.  That is wise, as we have really wonderful food here.   When I was in New York two years ago, I thought, "Yes, the food is good.  But we have good food in Texas.  So I wouldn't come here just for the food."

Tom, Padma, and Gail:  I love you.  I hope you bring Ruth with you because she is hilarious.

Your show is currently filming the 9th season of the regular show, and so I thought you might need some help coming up with some challenges.  So, here are my recommendations for your Texas season:

• Cow butchering challenge.  You've done a steak and fish carving challenge before.  You are in Texas now -- do a whole cow!
• Chili cook off challenge.  Best chili wins.  People using beans are immediately let go, and possibly have their knives taken away from them in order to encourage them from stopping cooking as beans in chili Is Wrong.
• Salsa challenge.  Best salsa wins.  And there's a lot of different salsa you can make -- verde, pico de gallo, I even made artichoke salsa the other day.  
• Small town Texas wedding challenge.  You've had the wedding challenge several times.  It's generally a disaster, which is good TV.  I grew up in a small town, where inviting 800 people to your wedding was common.  When I got married here in the city, my mother kept apologizing to people that weren't invited because we had a "small" wedding (400 people invited; about 200 came).  So, I say do a small town theme and turn up the volume of people!
• In addition to having to serve a giant number of people, there will be the joy of creating not just one cake for 800 people (and the cake is always a problem) but TWO since you have to have a groom's cake here too.  And have you tried piping buttercream in 100 degree weather and 100% humidity?  It melts.  Hilarity will ensue!
• I don't even need to suggest this of course, but barbecue.  I've heard you've been to the Salt Lick, and I approve.  
• Outdoor challenge.  All prep and cooking must be done outside.  Fainting chefs are eliminated.  
• You may also consider that just using the sun as a cooking method, as if your filming continues into August, you may be able to boil water simply by putting it outside. 
• And whose idea was it to come to Texas in the middle of this heat?  You should fire that person.
• Bacon.  Not particular to Texas, but it's really good.  You should totally have a bacon challenge.  I can't believe you haven't done that already, actually.  

I'm willing to attend any events if you need someone.  You frequently do an "annoying woman with food aversions" challenge (Natalie Portman, vegetarian; Zooey Deschanel, vegan), and I'm a prime candidate for that role, as I'm allergic to shellfish, mushrooms, avocados, and tree nuts.  

I'm here for you Top Chef team!  Call me!

Love,

Cynthia

A Love Letter to: Bindu Reddy

Dear Bindu Reddy,

A friend of mine linked to an article of yours.  We need to talk.  Specifically about this line in your article:

Stepping back, at a more fundamental level, I am not really sure we should worry about the lack of women in tech any more than worrying about why there are not more female truck drivers or more male nurses.  

Oh I worry.  I worry a lot.  I've been in the tech business now for 14 years.  I started out in IT, and regularly attended quarterly briefings by Microsoft in order to get more product information.  For the first few years I went, there was never a line for the women's bathroom.  Now tell me:  when was the last time you went to an event that had hundreds of people and you didn't wait in line for the women's bathroom?

I'm guessing you also haven't read Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap  I'll fill you in.  Girls in middle school, who otherwise out performed boys in math and science until that point, "lose interest" in math and science, and as a result don't become sys admins when they grow up.

Lucky for me, I had wonderful parents who encouraged my interest in science and allowed me to leave home at 16 to attend a math and science magnet school.  I worked at a computer lab in college and with that experience (and not much help from my politics degree) got my first job at a computer help desk.

In my first job out of college, I was the only woman on a team of 10.

In my second job, I was the only woman on a team of 13 with the exception of my boss.

In my third job, I was 1 of 2 women in the company of 12 people.

I don't want to be the only woman in the room in a team meeting.

Happily, things are changing.  I work on a wonderfully diverse team now (and my boss is an amazing woman with tons of experience!)  Lines started forming for the women's bathrooms at those Microsoft briefings.  My daughter takes Gigglebytes computer classes at her preschool.   Even Barbie is a computer engineer now!  And there are wonderful organizations such as GirlStart, which encourage girls to pursue science, technology, engineering, and math.

But I'm probably not going to stop worrying for a while.

Love,
Cynthia

A Love Letter to Glee

Dear Glee:

Frankly, I have always mixed feelings about you.  These feelings turned to general annoyance when you managed to completely ruin Adele's Rolling in the Deep, you bastards:




I actually thought to myself, "These people should really stick to really crappy songs and trying to make them awesome rather than completely trashing really good songs."

And that's when this happened:



Well played, Glee. Well played.

We so excited,
Cynthia

A Love Letter to Nike Women's Marathon

Dear Nike Women's Marathon (sometimes known as NWM),

I have desired you from afar for many years.  Many, many years.

In 2007, I didn't register for the random drawing for the registration because I heard of the cool experience of the marathon too late.  But, you decided to have a VIRTUAL half marathon and I could run anywhere I wanted (like around my neighborhood) and sync up my run and get a Tiffany keychain!  It wasn't a half marathon in San Francisco with a fireman giving me a Tiffany necklace at the finish line, but it was something! So, I trained and trained and trained, and with a busy job and a one year old this was no small feat.  And I 10.21.07 I was trained and ready.

Then, tragedy struck.  I woke up the morning of October 21, 2007 with bronchitis.  Still determined to run I sat in my steamy bathroom for an hour hoping to cough up enough stuff to feel better.  My husband, completely freaked out that I was going to try to run with a fever and a hacking up a lung, promised to go to Tiffany's immediately and buy a keychain.*  I went to bed and didn't run.

In 2008, I completely missed the random drawing deadlines because I was just so busy as work.  I felt so stupid for missing it, but you came through for me again with ANOTHER VIRTUAL MARATHON!  I trained and trained and trained!

Then, tragedy struck.  On July 20, 2008 after a 6 miles training run, I fell on the sidewalk, ironically, in front of the Austin Children's Museum, but while holding my 2 year old daughter.  While trying to protect her in the fall, I broke both my arm and foot.  I would not be able to run the virtual marathon, and I was unable to run again until November.

In 2009, I finally got my act together and registered for the random drawing!  But you didn't pick me and there was no sign of a virtual marathon.  So, I got pregnant instead!

And then you emailed me this on September 25, 2009:

Congratulations!  As a thank you and reward for training with your Nike+ system, we would like to invite you and a friend to register for this year’s SOLD OUT Nike Women’s Marathonin San Francisco on Sunday, October 18, 2009!

Five months pregnant and completely untrained for a Half Marathon, I declined your late offer.

In March of 2010, I had a baby.  And there was no way I was doing a half marathon in October.

And that brings us to now, 2011.   I have registered for your random drawing.  I wish to do your half marathon.  And all I can say is:

PLEASE PICK ME!

Love,
Cynthia


*This was apparently a lie.  He did not buy me a keychain.  I reminded him of this several years later and he bought me a Coach keychain.

A Love Letter to: Publishers on Amazon.com

Dear Publishers:

As I've mentioned before, I have a Kindle. Which I love.  Every time I hear about a book that sounds interesting, I get on my iPhone or computer and send myself a book sample.  When I finish one book, I read some samples until I find something else to read.  As a result, I'm reading a lot more.  And I'm enjoying the books I read a lot more.

Originally, Amazon had priced all books on the Kindle at $9.99.  After the iPad and Apple came out with their own e-Reader software, allowing you publishers to price books at any price, Amazon was pressured to do the same.  And occasionally, this plan does something completely ridiculous, like PRICE THE PAPER COPY OF THE BOOK HIGHER THAN THE ELECTRONIC VERSION.

Take Eat, Pray, Love.  I'm watching a commercial for the new movie, starring Julia Roberts, and it looks like fun. It's all Julia in her perkiness.  And I think, "Hey, even though I've already decided not to read this book because of the reviews on Amazon, but this movie looks like fun, so I'll download a sample and see."  Only to discover that the cost of the Kindle version of the book is $12.99 while a paperback version is $8.25.   This book, published in 2007, is the same cost as the author's new book published at the beginning of the year and only available in hardcover.

So Penguin Publishing, I get it.  You don't really care if I read the book.  And hey, I'm fine with that.  I already rejected your book once.  Now I have a sign that it really wasn't meant to be.

Sincerely,
Me

A Love Letter to Taco Deli

Dear Taco Deli,

I love your tacos.  LOVE THEM.  So, it breaks my heart that with a talent so large, you are in a space so small.  Unless the weather is beautiful outside and I know I can sit outside, when I go to you, I know that I might as well get my tacos to go.  And that's not really relaxing, which is what lunch is all about, and I can't have dinner with you, since you aren't open for dinner.

Knowing you aren't going to change your size, I considered getting some tacos to go yesterday, but the size of your line made it unbearable.  I tried calling in an order to go, but you kept me on hold so long I finally realized that you just aren't into me.

I will always think fondly of you and your sirloin mole tacos,
Me