Friday, May 13, 2011

Do Not Read This

Going through a list of books on my Kindle, I realized that there are several that I'm just embarrassed that I own and a few that I can't believe I actually read the whole thing of.  I always download a sample chapter of a book before I buy it, so these are books I THOUGHT would be good--but weren't.  To save you time, money, and energy, here are some books not to read.
And Furthermore  by Dame Judi Dench, who stars in a few films with Daniel Craig.  She talks about him for two sentences.  That was the highlight of the book.  The rest of the book is pretty much a list of plays she's been in.  Reading her C.V. would be more interesting.  Occasionally she talks about the people she worked with--they are all just lovely.  There's no gossip.  It's so boring.  I can't believe I finished the book.  


Love, Lust & Faking It: The Naked Truth About Sex, Lies, and True Romance

Love, Lust & Faking It: The Naked Truth About Sex, Lies, & True Romance  Before Jenny McCarthy fell into the deep end and became an advocate for not vaccinating your children based on improper research that was proven to be false, she actually "wrote" a pretty funny book called Belly Laughs, which is what I was thinking about when I bought this awful book.  She spends the entire book telling you she's going to tell you about her hookup with Brad Pitt.  I'll spoil it for you to save you the trouble:  she is lying about it--there was no hookup.  A love and romance book by Newt Gingrich would be more practical.



Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion

Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion    I am somewhat ashamed that I bought this book, but will never have to wonder again if Hugh is having sex with all of those women (yes) and if so, at the same time (also yes), and how disgusting that might be (very.)


Sliding Into Home
Sliding Into Home  Though having that knowledge did not stop me from reading another book about another Hugh Hefner girlfriend, who also discusses the sex with Hef issue (still disgusting.)  



My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up
My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up   Russell Brand went to rehab for both drug and sex addiction and is a comedian.  It's a good premise--I mean, isn't that interesting?  Somehow, this may be the most boring book ever.  How is that even possible?